


Nick`s secret

by Tantaylor



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: M/M, Master/Slave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23841103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor
Summary: John has plans for the band and Nick is forced to reveal a long hidden secret
Relationships: Nick Rhodes/Roger Taylor (Duran Duran)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Nick`s secret

**Author's Note:**

> Reunion era, ca 2000
> 
> English is not my mother tongue, no beta.  
> Feedback welcome  
> Thank you

John sat in a cab and smiled happily. It`s been a while since he last visited Nick in London, and he couldn`t wait to see his best friend again. Especially with the plans in his head. The time was just right, he felt it deep down, he knew it was the best thing to do. Not only for him, but also for Nick and Simon, hopefully Andy and Roger, too.  
For the first time in years he felt right, utterly and whole-heartedly right. He felt like being himself again, after all this drinking and tons of coke.  
The feeling of something big to happen grew with every driven mile, and for once it was a good feeling. He no longer felt like that big thing to happen would be his own death, or him getting arrested for drug abuse or drunken driving. 

John`s plan came out of the blue for Nick and he still didn`t know how to handle it.  
He still didn`t know if he should talk to his lover about it, the man who`s so much more than just a lover for him.  
Maybe the worst thing was that John had no clue.  
Their extraordinary love had been a secret for almost decades, the only thing his best friend never knew.  
No one knew. First of all, hardly anyone would understand this kind of love. Second, it was his job to protect the man he loved. The man who suddenly disappeared from public view over 15 years ago and has led a secret life ever since. A life by Nick's side. Or rather, at Nick's feet, as it were.  
“What is it?,” his lover`s soft voice spoke and a warm hand ran over his thigh.  
“I tried so hard not to show,” Nick sighed, smiling despite all his worries. It just warmed his heart that his beloved could feel him, could always sense his needs in every way.  
He stroked the silky hair of the man kneeling in front of him.  
“John called a few days ago. He`ll be here soon.”  
“This is good news. Is he okay?”  
“Clean and happy, good old Nigel. Gela`s good for him.”  
“Then what are you worried about?”  
“You are the only thing I ever kept from him, the only thing he doesn`t know about me.”  
“I told you years ago you should tell him. He`s your best friend. You shouldn't keep secrets from him.”  
“It`s more than that, darling. John's got something on his mind, that's why he comes here. He's obsessed with the idea of a reunion. I'm very sorry, but I think this is something we need to discuss at eye level. Please go and get dressed, dear.”

John literally jumped out of the car after he paid the driver.  
His best friend stood in the doorframe already, with arms wide open, and JT found himself in a tight hug in no time.  
“So good to see you, Nigel.”  
“Likewise, Nicholas! God, I missed you.”  
Nick held him at armlength, looking him up and down.  
“You look fine, John. Come in, we have a lot to talk about. You'll be quite surprised.”

John followed his friend, his brother from another mother, into the living room.   
“What the…oh my fucking god! Oh! Oh my…”   
His eyes widened and filled with tears at the sight of the man standing in the middle of the room. Even though he hadn`t seen him in 15 years, he surely recognized him in a split second.  
“Roger! Christ, Rog! What…”  
“Johnny.”  
Yet again the bassist was hugged ever so tightly, so tight he could barely breathe. They both cried a little before Roger stepped back and looked at Nick.  
“It`s still there,” he said quietly. “This connection. Still there.”  
“Sit, Nigel.” Nick motioned to the couch. “I know you're tired from the flight because of the time difference, but what we have to tell you will take some time. Are you hungry? Would you like some coffee? Anything?”  
John was still taken aback, staring at Roger open-mouthed as he sat down on the designer couch.  
“Er..tea, if you don`t mind. If you have anything herbal…”  
“Sure.” Roger smiled. “ There`s peppermint, redbush, verbena..”  
“Redbush`s fine, thanks.”  
“I have a veggie casserole in the oven, will take a few minutes, wanna wait or have some snacks with the tea?”  
“Will wait, tha…”  
Roger was out of the room before he finished the sentence.  
JT turned to look at his best friend, who had taken a seat beneath him.  
“What the bloody fucking…he has a casserole in the oven, he knows what teas you have…looks like he`s been here for longer, huh?”  
“He`s been here for ten years, Nigel,” Nick said bluntly, his green eyes darting into John`s.  
The taller man blinked, not sure if he got the words right.  
“You mean…here? In your house?”  
“Our house, yes. I love him, John. He loves me. We…”  
“Is that some sort of sick joke, Nicholas? Something you two made up to confuse good old Nigel?”  
Nick could tell that JT was offended. Of course he was.   
He lied. Well, not exactly, but he never told him about Roger, and when you are best friends, used to talk about everything, saying nothing is even worse than a lie, isn`t it?  
And that`s not even the half of it.  
Nick inhaled deeply. It was time to reveal his greatest, his most precious secret.  
“We have a very special relationship. Hardly anyone knows about it. I guess most people wouldn't understand it either. I'm afraid you wouldn't understand it yourself.”

“You think I don`t understand you`re gay? Come on, Nick! I've known you were gay for a long time. I'm not stupid. All those fancy girls were just for show. Well, I eventually accepted that you wouldn't tell me, even though it hurt me that you apparently trusted me so little. It's me, Nicholas! I'm your best friend.   
And this, this is the crowning glory, Bates! How could you?  
Ten years. Ten years with the man that I've missed so painfully, who I've been searching for months and couldn't find, and you...”  
“He`s my slave, Nigel.”  
John blinked. Blinked again. Opened his mouth, closed it again. All he could do was repeating this for what seemed to be minutes.  
“Slave?” he finally chuckled. “Are you kidding me, Bates?”  
“It started in 1983. We began a secret affair. First it was nothing but…I don`t know…stress relief or something. Roger was so uncomfortable in all this madness, he had panic attacks and stage fright was getting worse. When we were together, he could relax. Let himself go. We then quickly figured that there`s more. I suddenly had desires that scared the hell out of me, completely contradictory, sick, perverted fantasies. I wanted to protect him and hold him and comfort him, and yet... There was something dark inside me, John. Something that wanted to possess him, wanted to hurt him. I dreamed of tying him up, beating him, using him... and the more I dreamed of it, the more I loved him. I felt dirty about it, Nigel. Incredibly dirty and bad. What was wrong with me? How could I even think such a sick thing? I tried to push him away, but…”  
“I kept coming back.” Roger`s soft voice came from the doorway. He moved carefully with a fully loaded tray, setting it on the table.  
“And I`m so glad that you did, darling.” Nick smiled ever so lovingly at their former drummer, what confused John to no end.

What the fucking hell was going on here? If this was a show, they were damn good actors.

“Should I leave you two alone?” Roger asked quietly.  
“The fuck you will!” John blurted. “What is this shit? Slave! What nonsense. There are no more slaves, thank God. You're not going to tell me you've got Roger chained up somewhere and, I don't know... whipped?”

“Oh, he does. Sometimes.” Roger chuckled, blushing slightly.  
“Why the hell would he do that?”   
“Because he likes it, and, I think, because he knows that I like it just as much. But that`s just a part of it, Johnny. It`s very hard to explain to someone who isn`t into that lifestyle. We were both surprised ourselves how... how deep this goes. So very few people know about it. We didn't want to have to explain ourselves to people who didn't understand, who might even be disgusted by it. To be honest, I was pretty disgusted too. Of myself. I didn't want to feel that way, John. I didn't want to be like that. That's why I left. Back then. I thought, my desire to submit might go away if all this stress disappeared. And the man I wanted to submit to, of course.”  
John leaned back, looking back and forth between the two men. The two man he thought he knew.  
“You're really serious about this, aren't you?”  
“ We're not playing this, Nigel. We're living it. For ten years. We've both tried to block it out, not wanting to be who or what we are. But clearly fate had other plans for us. When Roger left, I was devastated. After a year or so I figured that those needs won`t go .It was still Roger I was dreaming about, but he left, so…I started to meet people who lived BDSM. Small private circles, clubs and such. Found a group of gay Masters who were sharing their slaves…”  
“Sharing?”  
“Yes. Showing them off, let other people watch or use them to their liking.” Nick nodded.  
“Use them?” John felt like a parrot. “You mean, having sex with them?”  
“So to speak, yes.”  
“Does he…” John licked his lips, a well-known nervous gesture. “ Does he share you, Rog?”  
“Now and again. Why? Are you interested?” Roger grinned.  
“Behave yourself, Roger!” Nick growled and there was a sudden tension, so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Roger bowed his head.  
“Sorry, I was just…”  
“Making fun. With my best friend. The man I`d share everything with. Go check on the food, will you?”  
That was without a doubt an order, and Roger immediately turned on his heels and almost ran out of the room.  
“Am I?” John wondered.  
“What?”  
“Your best friend, Nicholas! How can you call me your best friend when you hid that from me? When you hid him from me? “  
“Nigel…”  
“It`s JOHN, for fuck`s sake!” The bassist jumped up, pacing the room like a caged tiger.  
“Ah, fuck” he muttered “Oh fuck. You would never have told me, right? Where was he? Where was he, whenever I visited you? Where was he when you visited me? When we were on tour? Did you lock him up in here or what?”  
“Mostly he was with his parents, or his brother. He's not my prisoner, John. I'm not locking him up. He meets with friends in the pub, he goes running several times a week. Still, he prefers to be here, with me, and he`s not leaving the house much beside his training.”  
“When you're not lending him out to other men.”   
“See, this is exactly why I didn't tell you. I was afraid you wouldn't understand, and obviously I was right. When there are other men, it`s because we both want it. And I'm always there, John. I decide what these men can and cannot do. I would never, do you hear me, never, ever leave Roger alone with anyone. What we do, John, everything we do, it`s about giving each other what we need. What we want. I love him. I love him with all my heart. We tried to be without each other, but…goodness, John, would you sit down?”  
The man stopped, but kept standing, fists on his hip.  
“How did you meet again, then?”  
“This group, the Masters…”  
“Sharing their…oh! Oh God! Roger was there?”  
“In all his naked glory. Cuffed to a St. Andrews-cross. One of the other slaves was sucking him off while…”  
“I don’t need details, Nicholas! So, he spotted you…”  
“He didn`t. He was blindfolded. But, oh, I spotted him. I spotted him and I knew in a flash that I won`t let him go ever again. He was mine. Always has been. So I broke all the rules that apply to an event like this. I went straight to the cross, teared the blindfold off, pushed the man away from his cock…and then…when he saw me, when he realised it was really me…it was magic, John. He leaned his head on my shoulder and cried. We cried. I don't know how long. Normally I would have been thrown out.  
You don't interrupt a play. You ask permission before you touch someone. But nobody in the room said anything, nobody tried to keep us apart. Finally there was a man who freed Roger from his shackles and he hugged me. Roger, not the other man. They all noticed, Nigel. Even this man, who was his Master. Randall. One fine man. Roger and I were still clinging to each other when he quietly asked: Well then, pet, it`s him, huh?”  
John bit down a sarcastic comment on the *pet*-part, as he saw behind it. He may not understood all this Master-slave-pet-whatever- thing, but he could imagine how overwhelming it must have been for Nick and Roger to see each other again. It must have been so intense that everyone respected it, even the so-called Master, who certainly knew that whatever he had with Rog was history by now.

“To cut a long story short, we left together. I took him home with me and…”  
“And they lived happily ever after.” John smiled.  
Nick smiled back.  
“I need a little time to figure all this out, Nick. It's a bit much. I'm not disgusted or anything, just…you were right, I`m indeed quite surprised.”  
“I'm sorry, John. I should have told you. A lot sooner.”  
“Yes, you should have, you idiot. At least when I told you I was looking for him. That he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth.”  
Nick swallowed hard. Now he had to reveal another secret.  
“I wasn`t particularly happy about your idea of a Reunion, Nigel. I…it`s…goodness, see, we have created our own little world here, and as I said, Roger barely leaves the house. I told you, I'm not locking him in. But to be honest, sometimes I wish I did. I just want him for myself, John. And yes, I know how selfish and stupid that is.   
He's still a drummer, and he's the best we've ever had.  
I know he'd enjoy it. We finally talked about it this morning. I just wasn't brave enough before. If we really do this, John... I'm just afraid it won't be like it is now. Too much reality, too much publicity. I fear losing my slave to the drummer, if this makes any sense for you. It took us years to get to where we are now. We have our rules, our rituals, it all won't work like that when we play together in a band again.”  
John was about to say something when Roger came in.  
“Dinner is served, gentlemen. If you would follow me into the kitchen, please.”  
After they had eaten in silence for a while, John cleared his throat.  
“May I ask questions? I mean, I really don't know anything about this S&M stuff, but I'd like to understand it. I mean, we all know slaves don't exist. That you can't own a human being. How... I mean, how do you define that? And why does it mean so much to you? What does it do to you?”  
Nick put his cutlery aside, and John noted the quick glance he changed with Roger, as much as he saw Roger`s subtle nod.  
“SM is a broad field. Everyone lives it differently. There is no right or wrong, as long as it makes those who live it together happy. Some only live it in clubs. Others limit dominance and submission to the purely sexual. We both knew we wanted more than that. Roger and I , we are not only dominant and submissive, we are also sadistic and masochistic, and not just when it comes to sex. We have a clear-cut power imbalance. Roger largely submits to my will, no matter what. This may sound a bit brutal, but since it is his wish as much as it is mine, it is usually not very difficult for him. Mostly he loves serving me. And it's not like I demand constant obedience. It's often enough to know that I could. But there are rules, things that I demand daily or at least regularly.”  
“Such as?” John asked.  
Again, they changed a look. Apparently Nick now left it up to Roger what and how much he wanted to reveal about their relationship. Although only a small thing, John was taken with this gesture, as it showed Nick`s respect for his…well, slave. He still had problems with this word. A slave was property without rights.   
Roger smiled thoughtfully. He looked happy, not like rightless property.  
“Well. Uhm…when we are alone, I have to be naked. Always. Naked, clean and plugged. Always prepared, so to speak. Unless Nick specifically asks otherwise. I'm usually up before him, so I have time to prepare. When I'm done and he's not awake yet, I go back to bed.”  
“Are you sharing a bed?” JT wondered.  
“Of course. I don't sleep well when Roger's not beside me.” There it was again, this loving smile, like a caress. Who would smile at his slave like that, please?

“Why are you calling him your slave?”   
“Because he owns me. Ah, no, Johnny, shut up. I know, you can`t own human beings. But God knows, you can feel like it. And I feel it, just like Nick feels it. My heart belongs to him, my soul and my body. And that feeling makes me happy, John. I wouldn't have it any other way. What we do may be incomprehensible to others, especially when it comes to the chain and whip stuff But I do what Nick wants because I want to do what Nick wants. I like being naked. I like to kneel at his feet and it makes me incredibly horny to be tied up and whipped.”  
“I beg your pardon? Why am I punishing you if it's not punishment for you at all?” Nick grinned, reaching for his lover`s hand.  
“Because you love me.” Roger winked.  
“Yes, I do. You own my heart, my body and soul just as much, Roger. My love. My beloved slave.”

And John started to understand.


End file.
